Author Archive
Record Profits Posted for Vomit Cleanup Industry
Many St. Patrick’s Day celebrants awake this morning, often in locales foreign to them, trying to piece together the hazy events of last night by following a vomit trail in order for a Da Vinci code style quest to reveal the truth and possibly to stop that “fucking pounding in [their] head that feels like [...]
Eric Massa’s Birthday Party Tickling Leaked Video
Eric Massa resigned from congress after he tickled his male staffers repeatedly. NOBODY likes tickling, nobody but creepy weirdos. I have no problem with being gay, you’re just born with your sexuality, but I do have a problem with 50 year old closeted tickle rapists. Maybe this guy and Mark Foley can team up with [...]
John Mayer Has a Racist Penis
In an interview with Playboy Magazine, John Mayer was asked if black women throw themselves at him. The musician responded “I Don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock.” For some reason, some people found this [...]
Roxxxy The Talking Sex Robot
At the 2010 Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, Nevada, Douglas Hines of True Companion, a New Jersey based company, unveiled Roxxxy, their prototype for a talking sex robot.
Tim Tebow Superbowl Abortion Commercial
Heismn trophy winner and former University of Florida quarterback, Tim Tebow, is set to appear in an anti-abortion commercial paid for by Focus on the Family, which will air during the Superbowl. I kinda can’t believe this is a controversy. Is Tim Tebow totally lame? Yes, absolutely. Will he be mediocre in the NFL? Almost [...]
Princess and The Frog, Tiger Woods, and Sarah Palin.
Disney’s The Princess and The Frog debuted this past weekend, a blind New York woman received the gift of sight, Tiger Woods announced his hiatus from golf, and Sarah Palin continued to go rogue. Get Moderately Informed on these topics.
Jersey Shore Debut’s, MTV Officially Quits Trying
Inspired by the popularity of their True Life episode documenting life on the Jersey Shore, MTV placed 8 Italian Americans from New Jersey and surrounding areas in a house for the summer on the Jersey Shore, tossed in a little booze, then stepped back to the film the mayhem. Remember when MTV had programs related [...]
Tiger Woods Crash Video and Cheating Scandal
Tiger Woods crashed his car onto his neighbor’s lawn last week and tried to keep things very quiet amidst rumors that he was having an affair with Rachel Uchitel. Get Moderately Informed on this topic.
How to Ask Out the Girl of Your Dreams in Song
In order to ask out the girl of his dreams once and for all Brandon appears at her door step to serenade her with a song he wrote. Epic Fail.
Wal Mart Sells Coffins Now? Great News for Cults!
As of October 28 Wal Mart now sells coffins, yes burial caskets. You can buy burial caskets at WalMart. This is great news for the on-their-death-bed greeters and death cults feeling the recession.